Pay Your Child to score Goals?
Should You Pay Your Child to Score Goals?
While I could write a scathing satire highlighting the supposed benefits of paying your child to score goals, I’ll take a more straightforward approach. Here’s why you should absolutely NOT do it:
Intention vs. Reality
Many families believe offering money or rewards (candy, toys) for goals will lead to better performance. The assumption is that kids work like salespeople, putting in extra effort for financial gain. This simply isn’t true. There’s a crucial difference between a job (something you hopefully enjoy, but ultimately do to support yourself) and soccer (something you should love and participate in for the inherent fun and benefits). Playing itself is the reward. Taking away the opportunity to participate can be a consequence for misbehavior, but additional compensation shouldn’t be needed for good participation.
Scoring: The Joy of the Game
Scoring a goal is the highlight of soccer. Anyone who’s ever done it knows it doesn’t require financial incentive. The problem is, goals often get over-emphasized. Kids might say, “Great game, I scored 2 goals!” after losing 4-8, completely missing the bigger picture. While scoring is the ultimate aim, it’s the culmination of good choices and teamwork, not just an individual feat.
The Downside of Compensation
Rewarding goals can actually be detrimental. Boys especially struggle with knowing when to pass instead of trying to score solo. If passing is “punished” by a lack of reward, it further hinders their decision-making.
The "Performance Drug" Analogy
Offering compensation for effort might work in the short term, but it’s like giving your child performance drugs like coffee or and energy drink. It might create a temporary boost, but eventually loses its effectiveness and becomes necessary just to maintain a baseline. If your child lacks effort, find the root cause and address that.
Assists: A Tricky Business
Some might suggest rewarding assists equally to goals, avoiding the disincentive to pass. However, as parents, we shouldn’t create an expectation of being rewarded for expected behavior. While it’s better than solely rewarding goals from a coaching perspective, it’s not ideal from a parenting standpoint.
The Takeaway
We all seek quick fixes. But often, the easiest solutions aren’t the best for the long run. If your child lacks motivation,throwing money at the problem won’t solve it. The love for soccer and the desire to excel should come from within, not financial gain.