Aggressive Behavior in Youth Soccer
"He/she is just not aggressive enough!"
"We need to be more aggressive!"
"How can I get my child to be more
aggressive?"
These are things I hear often — but we need to pause and ask: what do we really mean by “aggressive”?
That kind of “aggressiveness” is sometimes visible in how kids play. And frankly, it’s terrible. You do not want your child to elbow, hip-check, or kick other kids on purpose. I’ve even seen scratching and punching. This is youth soccer — not cage fighting.
Aggressive behavior in youth soccer often goes unchecked, either because it looks accidental or the referee simply can’t catch everything. Sometimes it’s even just accepted as part of the game.
But at higher levels of the sport, you rarely see this type of behavior (Well, maybe aside from Luis Suárez…). When players lose control and become aggressive, they’re kicked off the field and suspended for weeks or even months.
Physical Play vs. Aggressive Behavior in Youth Soccer
Being physical — and not just giving the ball away — is very different from being aggressive. Using the body to shield the ball or win a 50/50 duel is a crucial skill. But there’s a big difference between putting out an arm to hold off a player and driving your elbow into someone’s chest.
Aggressiveness as a Substitute for Skill
One of the most harmful and too-often accepted forms of aggression happens when a less-skilled team starts losing. In frustration, some kids try to injure others in an attempt to change the outcome. Even if no one gets hurt, attempts to injure should result in immediate removal from the game. There’s no place for that in youth sports.
So what should we encourage instead?
Be Annoying, Not Aggressive
The goal should be to be relentlessly annoying to the opponent — in the best way. Constantly pressuring, never giving up, being right on your opponent as soon as they get the ball, not allowing them to turn or create space. That’s not aggression — that’s effort, focus, and grit.
“Annoying” means you work so hard and stay so sharp that the other team can’t find their rhythm. They get frustrated not because you’re hurting them, but because your work ethic is shutting them down.
In Conclusion:
I know the term “aggressive” is widely used and often not intended to promote dirty play. But the more competitive kids I coach, the more I realize that many of them don’t understand the difference between hustling to win the ball and actions that actually hurt or endanger other players. The latter has no place in youth soccer and should be dealt with firmly.