What to do when your kid barely gets off the bench
It’s Sunday morning, 6:00 AM. Everyone’s up early for your 8-year-old’s soccer game that kicks off at 8:00. You drive an hour, spend two more on the sidelines watching warm-ups and a tough 3–0 loss… and your child plays just 5 out of 50 minutes. The second game isn’t until noon, so you wait around, grab snacks, kill time. By 3:00 PM, you’re back home exhausted—and frustrated. “Why did we spend our whole Sunday like that? My kid barely played!”
I know this story is not something you ever experience when playing at Fussbally because it stands against everything we do, but I am not going to get into that this time…
If your child does play in the traditional American system and this is a situation you sometimes find yourself, here is my analysis:
So why isn’t your child getting more play time?
Reason #1: The roster is too big.
Some 9v9 teams carry 14–15 players. That means someone’s always sitting. On a game day, it can feel random or unfair—but it’s usually just math.
Reason #2: Other kids are performing better (right now).
In competitive soccer, coaches are trying to win. That means the players who are performing best get more minutes. But keep in mind—“best” can change weekly, especially with younger kids.
Reason #3: Behavior or effort in training.
Some coaches reward focus, effort, and good attitude during practice. If a child struggles with listening, attitude, or effort, that can impact their minutes on game day.
What can you do?
Option 1: Improve.
The most reliable way to earn more minutes is to become a player the coach needs on the field. Ask the coach:
“What’s one thing my child can focus on to get more minutes?”
Train that. Support that. Improvement = opportunity.
Option 2: Find a new team.
Not all teams are the same—even at the same level. A smaller roster or a different team culture could mean more playing time and better development.
Option 3: Step down a level.
It might sound like a step back, but consistent playtime is often the key to long-term progress. Confidence, joy, goals, touches on the ball, feeling valued—all of it matters. If a lower-tier team gives your child that, it might be the smarter choice.
What not to do:
Don’t try to pressure the coach or director.
Yes, you might get more minutes—briefly. But it usually backfires. Your child risks being seen as “the kid who plays because mom/dad complained.” That label sticks. And when the next team reshuffle comes, they may move your child down… without a conversation. Short-term gain, long-term cost.
Feeling stuck or unsure?
I’m happy to help think it through. Give me a call: 303-828-7079
Have another soccer topic you’d like to read about?
Text me: 303-828-7079
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